November 2011
1 post
2 tags
October 2011
2 posts
4 tags
Flaccid Cherries
D: These cherries are flaccid.
P: Are you gonna eat those?
S: You can eat my flaccid cherries.
P: nom nom nom nom.
September 2011
1 post
3 tags
Clients From Hell: Client: “I just want you to... →
If only those were the kind of mix ups we dealt with.
clientsfromhell:
Client: “I just want you to know that we here at the company really frown on office romances.” Me: “That won’t be an issue. I’m already in a steady relationship.” Client: “Well, then that’s just disgusting what you did!” Me: “What?” Client: “I wasn’t going to mention it, but now I feel…
July 2011
3 posts
Submission: Engineering is dirty
1: Where are the strippers?
2: Right there
1: No the other ones, I don’t like those strippers
2: I don’t know, I’m sure I could find some in the phone book (pause) sorry (looking at me)
I am the only girl working in a robotics lab, they were wiring the robot.
May 2011
2 posts
3 tags
“I made the mistake of squeezing the golden plunger too hard while it was still...”
– D, explaining why he was working from this morning.
3 tags
April 2011
2 posts
2 tags
On Top
d: We’ll need to make sure L gets on top of that. Everyday, not just once a week.
D: I tell her that all the time.
5 tags
Think carefully for your next startup domain...
via thedailywh.at
March 2011
3 posts
2 tags
Cigars
K: How much will a big stogie cost me?
D: Look in d’s drawers, he might have a big one for you.
Everyone: *groan*
4 tags
Good Rods
Female Boss (while eating a large pretzel stick over my shoulder): “Boy do I love a good rod.”
(I highly recommend not saying this in front of male co-workers.)
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OH Quote - During a Meeting
m: I wish H would rub off on T a little …
(This is H’s first apparence, congrats!)
February 2011
4 posts
2 tags
2 tags
HR Violation #27
L: There's nothing to look at. I'm bored, bored already.
J: But isn't it nice to just look at wood?
(J is showing L his new radio blog, that happens to have a wood panel background)
7 Minutes in Heaven.
S: The site was just down for 7 minutes. Don’t tell anyone. It wasn’t my fault *looks both ways*
D: I can do a lot in 7 minutes.
S: I bet you can.
2 tags
2 tags
January 2011
8 posts
2 tags
“Hey baby, wanna see my family tree?”
– G’s pick up line, which according to D doesn’t work.
3 tags
HR Violation #26
L: This photo session is taking a long time, d was much quicker.
d: I've heard that before. #TWSS
“L does her best work at night.”
– D while discussing in-office productivity.
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HR Violation - WTF? →
Thanks to P, we have this gem - the link being spread across our office. It took some begging before any of the guys had the guts to show the one girl in the office what they were laughing (crying) about.
Click and let the magic begin.
3 tags
HR Violation #25
L: So I was thinking of taking like a fitness class or something to get in better shape.
L: Why are you smiling?
D: I was just thinking: you, a pole … Oops, did I say that out loud?
3 tags
HR Violation #24
D: I used to lick Advil when I was little because it was sweet.
G: That could be why you're allergic to it now.
D: Well, my dad was a doctor, so our medicine cabinet was like a closet. We had everything, like Viagra.
G: I bet your mom had no trouble figuring out if you were licking those.
L gags at the end of this conversation.
2 tags
Bicker, bicker, bicker....
L: bicker, bicker, bicker… D: bicker, bicker, bicker… d: Alright you two, now kiss and make up. D: Yes… :)
L … :(
December 2010
2 posts
3 tags
Christmas Card
D’s christmas card to L in preparation for the upcoming office holiday party.
2 tags
“Meat-wrapped apples sound better than it is.”
– D on his choice of snack food.
November 2010
7 posts
3 tags
Junk in the trunk
L: I’ve got so much stuff in the back, but you guys can both try to squeeze in if you want.
4 tags
“Hey, today is “Get Laid for Free” day if you have a mustache.”
– J talking about the National Day to Sleep with a Guy with a Mustache, this November 18th. For J, that means a discount day compared to the regular full price days that fill the rest of the year.
Happy Movember!
2 tags
3 tags
Zesting
G: what are you doing now?
D: Right now, I'm zesting a little lemon.
S: what? You've never zested your lemon?
G: not at work.
2 tags
“J would love my warm hands on his cheeks.”
– D overheard in the office.
2 tags
Getting it.
talking about a google document
d: I assumed L gave it to you.
D: No, she’s never given it to me.
2 tags
Ahhhh so that's what Zumba is
D: *Stares at L’s computer screen*
D: “What’s that?”
L: “Zumba.”
D: “Is THAT what they call it these days … “
D learns what Zumba really is, and is now super excited about taking Zumba Classes (in his pink spandex suit, of course).
October 2010
4 posts
4 tags
2 tags
“I prefer bite-sized to fun-sized.”
– L
2 tags
“I soil my boxers before I throw them away.”
– D telling everyone something we don’t want to know.
2 tags
“You don’t have to be rich to pay for Dicks.”
– L (the one gal) stating a universal truth at lunch with all of her male co-workers.
September 2010
6 posts
2 tags
1 tag
HR Violation #23
[Everyone in the elevator on their way to lunch, D is already eating a strip of beef jerky.]
L: Wow, that really smells. Keep it away from me.
[D moves closer.]
D: What, you don't like me waving my meat in your face?
[general grimaces around the elevator from everyone, especially our CEO]
4 tags
Game Over
L: What happened?!?
D: I’m done.
L: Already? It’s been like 2 seconds.
D: *sigh* I hear that a lot.
(We were playing peer-to-peer flight control)
3 tags
4 tags
Juicy Nectarines
D: L’s nectarines are so much bigger and juicier than the ones I bought at the store… and that’s NOT a euphemism.
(Note: This was submitted by D on 9/1/2010. The next day, D was still fascinated by L’s “juicy nectarines” as shown in the email conversation post below. Oh, and he was talking to his wife when he said this. Yeah.)
3 tags
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D: I would crash into L all day just for fun.
(He was talking about the iPhone game FlightControl, or was he?)
August 2010
11 posts
7 tags
Hey Ladies, Want a Raise? Wash Your Vagina →
Real advertisement and advice for ladies who want to succeed in their careers. Also, submitted by D (should be noted that this was proudly submitted by a smiling D).
Recap: To ask for a raise, Step 1 is wash the vagina (to compete with the guys with clean balls) and end with Step 8, focus on your accomplishments, which at this point only include being cleaner down under then the guy or gal next...
2 tags
Recommend HR Violations
Let others enjoy the off-putting humor of this start-up and recommend us today as one of your favorite Start-Up blogs.
And as a present of our gratitude, here is a little something to remember to stay PC and how not to commit any of your own HR Violations :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-j7wr-wsmcI
Happy Tuesday!
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HR Violation #22
G: Hey S, fork you.
S: Owww.
G: I'm sorry, Want to spoon?
S: Let's spork.
G: Nice, I like that.